OVERCOMING JEALOUSY

JEALOUSY 

The desire for something that someone else has can cause emotions inside ourselves that can eventually harm us and our relationships, so overcoming jealousy is an important part of our faith. We all have, from time to time, a little bit of envy for something. We may have a crush on a friend's boyfriend. We may be envious that someone else doesn't have to study as hard as we do for the same grades. However, if we don't learn to overcome jealousy, that feeling of envy can take over our lives. There are plenty of scripture verses on jealousy, and each of them tell us that we must learn to overcome it in our lives.

Know What Makes You Jealous

What are the triggers of your jealousy? When do you find yourself resenting others? Knowing the things that make us jealous help give us warning signs before we let jealousy get int he way of things. Just being able to identify these triggers is a first step in overcoming jealousy.

Know What You Can Change and Can't

Often we get jealous of others abilities or things. We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others. However, God created each of us to be our own individuals with our own strengths. Know that person who aces every test with ease when we spend hours and hours studying for the same grade? It's easy to envy that person and not like them out of jealousy. However, your tenacity and approach to studying may be a skill that pays off later You never know. But what you do know is that you can't be what someone else is. We can focus on improving how we do things, but we cannot change all things about ourselves. Part of overcoming jealousy is that we have to know and accept the difference.

Know That It's Not Always Good for Us

What someone else has isn't always what we need in our lives. For instance, a friend may be able to date the hottest guy or girl in school without temptation, but you may not. We may be jealous of relationships, but are we really ready to handle them? Another friend may have the newest video game, but maybe we may find out that if we had that game we'd lose focus on more important things. Just because someone else has it doesn't mean it's right for us, too.

Know That God Loves You…Just as You Are

Jealousy is really just a way of letting the enemy make you lose your focus on God. God provides for us what we need. He created us in an image that He had for us. We all look different, act different, think different, because God created each of us that way. We need to embrace how God created us. That sounds easy on paper, sure. It may be something that we have to look at little by little every day. However, it's something very important when trying to overcome jealousy.

Rely on Your Relationship with God

When we feel jealousy and envy, we need to look to God right away. It's okay to ask God why. Sometimes God can use the feeling to make us better…to strive for things. However, we need to ask God in a way that we can accept when He tells us that what someone else has just isn't for us. We need to develop the relationship with God where we know He has different plans for us, and we need to rely on Him to give us the strength to overcome jealousy when it just doesn't seem to go away.

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Parents, Teens and Friends

The Value of Christian Friends

Angie handed her son, Ryan, the sandwich she'd just made him and said, "Honey, I was thinking. Why don't you call that nice boy from church? The one whose parents were talking to us last Sunday as we walked to our car? He seems like he'd be a much better person to hang out with than the two buddies you're always playing video games with."
This was a typical exchange between this mom and her teenage son, so I wasn't surprised when she complained about her son's indifference to her social prodding.
Parents know that their kids' friends have a huge influence on them, so parents are often quick to find fault with their kids' friends. Worried that bad friends will lead their teens astray, they find themselves managing their teens' social lives in wrong ways and for wrong reasons. Unfortunately, this is the quickest way to place their kids under the spell of the wrong crowd.

Likes Attract

When people are picking a spouse, they tend to look for someone who fills the gaps in their life. That's why opposites tend to attract when it's time to get married. But when people are seeking friends, they tend to gravitate toward people who share their common interests and values. This explains the myriad of cliques among teenagers. There's nothing fundamentally evil about this dynamic. It's simply the nature of friendships.
But there's a huge lesson to be learnt from this phenomena. If your son or daughter tends to gravitate toward kids whose values are hostile to yours, it might be because your child's values are also hostile to yours.
Don't panic. The teenage years are a time when a lot of kids try on attitudes that are different from the ones with which they were raised. When your child makes some bad choices, it's easy to blame the bad influence of their friends. But a more helpful response is to admit that your child may be in a state of spiritual confusion. This puts you in a better position to carefully navigate these typically troubled waters of youth.

Redirection

Kids do thrive when they're surrounded by friends who incline them toward spiritual growth. With this in mind, let me share with you the No. 1 way to have your children end up surrounded by spiritually passionate Christian friends: They need to be spiritually passionate Christians. Like-minded friends attract; remember? Kids who are excited about following Jesus tend to prefer friends who share their enthusiasm.
So how do you instill this passion? For starters, don't assume it's as simple as having them memorize Scripture and read their Bibles. These things can have a positive effect, but they aren't game changers.
Two things help build spiritual passion in teens.
The first is waking up every day in a home with a passionate mom and dad — parents who radiates love, grace, mercy and hope and who spend focused time in the Bible and on their knees. They're fun to live with and easy to respond to when a teen has lost his way.
The second is being part of a family that serves others. Not just a family that feeds the homeless once a year on Thanksgiving, but a family that constantly serves each other, their neighbors, their church, classmates, strangers, the poor and the disenfranchised. When Christian teenagers are "servants," their others-orientation gives them a much better perspective when it comes to choosing friends.
We always encouraged our teens to be a friend to the friendless. When they do this, everyone wants to be their friend — especially the best kids in school. We also taught our teens to mentally divide their friends into two categories: asset friends and liability friends. We encouraged them to have both types, but advised them to see their struggling friends through a "ministry" lens. We urged them to share God's love with these friends, but cautioned them against confiding deep secrets or asking for advice. Instead, we recommended they confide in and lean on their asset friends.

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Control Is Not the Goal

As your 13-year-old grows into an 18-year-old, your influence over your teen will decrease and the influence of friends will steadily grow. Unfortunately, there are no 1-2-3 steps or cut-and-dry answers to ensure positive peer influence. Christian friends aren't always "safe," and non-Christian friends aren't always "bad." keep in mind that control is not the ultimate goal.
Here are a few ideas to help navigate the teen years:

• Reach for your kid's heart rather than just implementing rules.
• Pray. Prayer does make a difference.
• Make friends with your youth pastor and encourage him to be a friend to your teen.
• Don't let fear determine your decisions or define your relationship.
• Learn to listen and don't assume the worst.
• Spend time with families who have healthy teens.
• Get Christian counseling if your teen needs professional help.

Part of parenting during the teen years is learning to live with the natural tension in the parent-teen relationship. Don't avoid this ongoing struggle. Instead, at each decision, ask God to show you what you should hold on to and what you should let go of.

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Dealing with ANGER

Anger is a normal and natural emotion, but can be dangerous and destructive if allowed to intensify and continue. People or situations can be upsetting, and it is okay to express feelings of frustration. However, extreme anger is hurtful to others and cause damage to relationships as well as property. Several verses in the Bible talk about anger and give wise advice to teenagers:

"People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness." (Prov. 14:29)

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." (Prov. 15:1)

"Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper -- it only leads to harm." (Psalm 37:8)

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WHAT IS LOVE?

LOVE
What does love mean in our society today? Affection, emotion, family, feelings, romance, relationships, sex, friendship, brotherhood. These are all words associated with love. Love songs, romance novels and chick flicks are always trying to tack on another definition. If you look it up on Wikipedia or dictionary.com you'll get a variety of explanations.





 If you Google it, you get "The Love Calculator," where you type in your name and someone Else's and receive a prophecy about the likelihood of your future together being a good one. You get all kinds of pictures of hearts and couples kissing:

But the problem with all these characterisations is they all fall short and eventually disappoint. They're temporary, they're flawed, they're substitutions. They're selfish. They rely on human power, which will always come to an end.

Take a look at the Bible's definition of love. Romans 8 says that nothing can ever separate us from the love of God. First Corinthians 13 says that love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Ephesians 3 says that the love of Christ is so great you will never fully understand it. Second Corinthians 9 calls it an indescribable gift.

Does any of this sound like the world's definition of love? The love that is tied to image and worth and selfish desires? Absolutely not. The greatest lie we are led to believe is that we can find love outside of Jesus Christ. His love isn't human. It's unfathomable. The apostle Paul, who was extremely well educated and eloquent, couldn't even articulate the idea of God's love. He calls it indescribable. Beyond words.

The hardest thing to comprehend about this love, the reason it is so inexpressible and beyond human terminology, is that it is undeserved. God loves us for no reason at all. The whole idea of Christianity is just that you accept this love. Embrace it. Realise that it is a gift, you did nothing to earn it, you could do nothing to make it go away, you could never be worthy enough to receive it, but all the same it is there. You couldn't be separated from God's love even if you tried.  First John 4 tells us that God is love. It is his very nature and he could never stop being who he is. 

Move beyond the charade that society has nicknamed love, and acknowledge that there is a greater love in God. It's the original; everything else pale's in comparison.

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How is your personal relationship with Jesus? are you this close to him?

ENCOUNTER
So you accepted Christ at a young age and now you feel kind of like Christianity was something for children. You think you've outgrown it and now it's time to find something new. You know, it's just lots of sheep and an old guy in a nightgown, right? Wrong! Christianity is a relationship with Jesus, the son of God. Sometimes teens feel really dedicated to Christ and doing things in church and at home, but once they hit school, its back to being their old selves. Keep reading for how to stay devoted to Christ no matter where you are, and how to grow in Christ.

how often do you communicate with the HOLY SPIRIT

 EXPERIENCE
You can experience the power of God in your life and know the real happiness which is more than just a religious concept, but comes from having the Holy Spirit in your life. Then you can build up your faith by praying in the Holy Spirit.

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